The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
by liriaen
Summary: 20 Drabbles. 20 Emotions. 20 Chances to Love, Hate, Misunderstand, and Do Things to Each Other, or: Jeshua and Lucifer running the gamut. Ratings vary, please heed individual warnings. m/m
1. Chapter 1

_**[The Bible ; Jeshua/Lucifer ; Emotions ; Fic]**_

I humbly offer this set of 20 x 100 word drabbles for LJ's "20paperplanes" community - a short vacation from my "Via Lata" series, sort of. :) I needed the change of POV for a bit and also to flex my fingers... The title is filched from William Blake, of course. WARNING - These pieces contain mature content & references to m/m sex, mental illness, drugs, crossdressing/shapeshifting, character death and the end of days. Reader discretion is advised. Please don't read any further if you feel any of this might disturb, hurt, or offend you.

* * *

**Fandom:** The Bible

**Pairing:** Jeshua/Lucifer

**20paperplanes Prompt Table:** Emotions

**Rating:** PG

**Drabble:** #01: Love

.:.

It's not love, no.

Far from it.

It's something sober and calculated, this.... what shall we call it, _tryst_? Or travesty?

To one, it is an elaborate joke, something too good pass up.

To the other, it is a quest, a scientific enquiry almost. And if something else grows out of it, he cannot help it. He'll shelter and nurture it, try to make it bear fruit, because that's what he does. That's who he is.

Lucifer laughs at him, of course. Surprise me, he says.

Impossible, Jeshua replies. But perhaps you'll surprise yourself. Isn't that what love is about?

.:.

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**Drabble:** #02: Lust

**Rating:** R

.:.

It's not lust, no.

It's something vile and dirty that makes them circle each other. An intimation of groans and moans; the visual suggestion of slick limbs in a snakepit, going from languid slide to brutal push, racing each other for that last fevered shudder.

Jeshua stares at a vein in Lucifer's neck, pulsing in invitation. He closes his eyes and sees a forked tongue instead, caressing his balls, twining up his penis, slipping into the slit.

Stop, he gasps, raw with need now, don't.

On the other side of the table, Lucifer only blinks and sits, licking his lips.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #03: Passion

**Rating:** R

.:.

He's no stranger to passion, no. But it takes a while before he discovers what works best with Lucifer.

Lucifer, he wants some token resistance. He likes Jeshua to struggle. He delights in the bruises, telling himself they go deep enough to leave a mark.

But Jeshua, daring him to go further, relaxes into it like you would lower yourself into a hot tub: he's learnt that there is pleasure in yielding. Freedom, even.

In the morning he'll get up and make coffee and look at last night's magnificent beast, the angel that was - pure again for one fleeting second.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #04: Rage

**Rating:** R

.:.

Jeshua's fingers will leave imprints: red ugly smudges on Lucifer's neck. Attempting to get a knee between them, Lucifer screeches and squirms, hissing in dead languages until he runs out of breath.

_Do it. Do it do it do _it. Get it over with, the voice in Jeshua's head sneers. Proud at first, it turns into a whine, then a sob until skull cracks on stone. Lucifer's hands fall open.

_Samael_, Jeshua begs, _look at me_, but Lucifer's eyes have already lost focus, and Jeshua turns aside and weeps, curling in on himself as if his shoulders wanted to meet.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #05: Depression (follows 'Rage')

**Rating:** R

.:.

Outside Jeshua's cave, the rain crackles like fire.

He's burnt the body: burnt him and scattered the ashes, so soot and grease still cling to him, caking his nails. Lucifer's last embrace, rubbing itself under his skin.

Paralysed, stuck to the cave mouth now, Jeshua is too weak to move. The tallit around his shoulders is dirty. The threads are unraveling before his very eyes: you are become Death, they say.

Weeks later there's the soft pad of feet, and Lucifer, kneeling by his side, trying to stroke it out of him. _Wanton_, Lucifer sniffs reprovingly. _Stop it this instant._

.:._  
_


	2. Chapter 2

[_**The Bible ; Jeshua/Lucifer ; Emotions ; Fic ; #06 - #10]**_  
WARNING - These pieces contain mature content & references to mental illness, drugs, crossdressing/shapeshifting, m/m sex, character death and the end of days. Reader discretion is advised. Please don't read any further if you feel any of this might disturb, hurt, or offend you.

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**Drabble:** #06: Bond (follows 'Depression')  
**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

For a while, Lucifer reminds him of Lazarus: there's the same slowness, the same cottony haze.

When addressed, Lucifer will turn, but his amber eyes will lag behind. He'll gather himself and arrange his face, yet he'll look at Jeshua as if he couldn't quite place him.

As if he couldn't decide.

What is it, Jeshua wants to know, fingers closing round Lucifer's wrist.

Lucifer looks at nothing. When you came to, he says eventually. I remember that. How you tore your sheets in a panic. You were frightened of Azrael, were you not.

Yes.

Then why wouldn't I be.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #07: Loss  
**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

He has never really paid attention to Lucifer's voice until now. Rich, honeyed, dry-as-cinders, it stays in the air long after Lucifer has spoken.

"Just out of curiosity," Lucifer says, smoke curling around his fingers, "but when do you think you lost your innocence?"

The question startles him.

"When." He looks up, then drops his gaze. His throat seizes. "When Juda died," he croaks.

Lucifer nods, scanning the horizon. He doesn't seem inclined to reciprocate.

"And you," Jeshua whispers.

"Seeking relief in complicity, are you." Lucifer exhales slowly and crushes his cigarette. "First time I killed an angel. I guess."

.:.

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**Drabble:** #08: Horny  
**Rating:** R

.:.

"Hold on."

He can hear Lucifer take a drag and step closer, so he tightens his muscles, bunches them for when the pain comes,

but it doesn't

because Lucifer only lifts a loose strand of Jeshua's hair and tucks it back in. Gently.

"There, now."

Funny how he knows Lucifer's expression.

Concerned, somehow. Greedy. _Horny._

Breathing in, Jeshua leans back. The ropes don't support, and how could they when Lucifer has only strung him by the wrists? But his knees have folded, and he has lost his footing, and his jeans have grown tight since the whip first drew blood.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #09: Blah  
**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

You'd think they'd row all the time - big, screaming rows with fire and brimstone, but they haven't fought since he killed Lucifer, and their sores are starting to itch.

"What is this," Lucifer drawls. "We meet, we talk, we fuck. Sometimes we fuck, but don't talk. That all you got?"

"Why don't you go your way, Angel?" Jeshua sounds tired.

Lucifer dredges up something resembling withered mirth. "Surprise there, lamb. I've been going nowhere since Day One."

"And that's the full extent of your fabled ambition?"

He never thought he'd laugh quite so _wildly _at a fist smashing his cheek.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #10: Pensive (follows 'Blah').  
**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

One eye swollen shut, the other nestled in bruises, Lucifer doesn't take kindly to his ministrations. He hisses and flinches and bites Jeshua's hand, so Jeshua lets go and sits back.

"Sorry," Jeshua says, quietly amused. "That got out of control."

"Fuck you."

"Mmh, yes." _Come here_.

Lucifer throws him a baleful stare. _Why?_

Opening his arms. _Just... come._

"Huh." Carefully, Lucifer crawls closer.

_Don't you wish to return? To Him?_ He gently takes Lucifer's chin. _If I spoke up for-_

"No thanks," Lucifer mumbles. _And stop looking at me like I'm a carcass with a good set of teeth._

.:._  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_**[The Bible ; Jeshua/Lucifer ; Emotions ; Fic ; #11 - #15]**_

WARNING - These pieces contain mature content & references to mental illness, drugs, crossdressing/shapeshifting, m/m sex, character death and the end of days. Reader discretion is advised. Please don't read any further if you feel any of this might disturb, hurt, or offend you.

* * *

**Drabble:** #11: Confident, inspired by images by Aubrey Beardsley and Gustave Moreau.

**Rating:** R

.:.**  
**

"Of course you need confidence to pull it off," Lucifer croons and re-touches his make-up, "but I wouldn't call it rocket science exactly." Smacking his lips, flicking his hair, she turns towards Jeshua.

Lithe, yet fully-formed, her pretty buds unbreached.

She takes a mincing step and lays her hand on Jeshua's wrist.

This close, he can smell her: fragrant, a girl like a mountain spring, her sweet waters a murmur. Her veils are a-swish in the breeze.

"J'ai baisé ta bouche, Yochanaan," she whispers with drowsy, lilting tongue, "j'ai baisé ta bouche…"

Reeling with nausea, Jeshua bends aside and vomits.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #12: Unsure

**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

Lucifer likes to sprawl all over him, heavy with sleep. Hair spilling, limbs loose, he leaves puddles of bile wherever his mouth happens to hang open.

An angel shouldn't like to sleep so much.

Angels should keep watch, even the Fallen ones; set as they are over those who rise... those who descend...

"Morningstar." His breath ghosts over the shell of Lucifer's ear. "Wake up."

"Ngh. Nooo_oooo_." Lucifer scrabbles in protest, then slumps again.

An angel shouldn't make sounds like that.

Sounds that tempt him to wanna pamper it, hold it, make it sigh...

On such mornings, Jeshua feels unsure.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #15: Content (follows #10 - 'Pensive').

**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

The Galil, he says, passing Lucifer the joint. I'd like to see the Galil again.

Lucifer yawns up into the sky. Huh. Why?

The flowers. The waterfalls. You remember the Pan temple at Banyas?

Yeah.

That was beautiful.

If you liked the Galil so much, why did you leave it?

Jeshua stretches lazily and crosses his feet. For something even more beautiful, he says.

More flowers, more waterfalls?

Something like that. He laughs.

Lucifer holds back the smoke and closes his eyes. You're a fucking nut.

Well. Yes. He giggles. Are you going to pass me that thing or not?

.:.

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**Drabble:** #13: Stress. Part I of a response to dr_zook's achingly brilliant, devastatingly beautiful ficlet "Institution". [Part II is #14: Calm, see below.]

**Rating:** R

.:.

Adonai, he cries, hiding under the bed. His breath goes fast and shallow. Adonai.

Lucifer squats before him, a gargoyle on its haunches. And you think He hears you? You think HaShem likes you to make a spectacle of yourself?

Not a spectacle. He licks a wrist that stinks of chemicals. His truth.

They won't listen to that.

They won't, why? Jeshua's eyes roll back every time they find Lucifer's, gold over dust motes.

Because you're certifiably insane, rabbi.

The possibility makes Jeshua's heart race, and he sobs and twitches until Lucifer calls a nurse to

fucking shut him up.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #14: Calm. Part II of the response to dr_zook's ficlet "Institution".

**Rating:** R

.:.

You don't pray anymore, Lucifer whispers, pushing hair from Jeshua's face.

He doesn't know what to say, just sits, licks chapped lips.

Son of Man, Lucifer hisses, have you no pride?

He hiccups, too tired to breathe.

Now you're supposed to say how pride was my lot, rarara, my sin, my downfall... Jeshua. Jeshua, Lord, are you listening?

You could burn him with cigarettes, nothing, but Lucifer's tone registers. Pride?, he croaks, looking up.

It's meant to come out a laugh, and he makes the same horrible noise later when, barefoot and blood-smeared, he walks through the security glass doors.

.:.


	4. Chapter 4

_**[The Bible ; Jeshua/Lucifer ; Emotions ; Fic ; #16 - #20]**_

And here is the final batch - done, then.

WARNING - These pieces contain mature content & references to mental illness, drugs, crossdressing/shapeshifting, m/m sex, character death and the end of days. Reader discretion is advised. Please don't read any further if you feel any of this might disturb, hurt, or offend you.

* * *

**Drabble:** #17: Happy. The 3rd and last part of my response to dr_zook's ficlet Institution.

**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

"Arms up." Lucifer laughs under his breath as he peels him out of the dirty t-shirt.

Jeshua throws him a doubtful look. "You're enjoying this," he says with a small voice, sweatpants pooling round his ankles. His hands reach down to cover his shame.

"Why clearly." The angel flashes teeth. "I mean... ecce homo, right?"

_Ecce homo_, yes. He's scrawny and pale, except where he's bruised. His hair is matted, his eyes are bad, and there's the withdrawal to deal with. "Are you happy now?" he murmurs.

Gently, Lucifer pushes him towards the bath. "I am happy you're back. Lord."

.:.

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**Drabble:** #16: Excited.

**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

Trembling fingers reaching, not quite touching.

Electric first contact, tiny sparks flying between sweaty fingertips and velvet skin.

Lifting cloth of gold covers, murmuring blessings,

He cradles and sways, pulled into a slow waltz.

Making love to His unspeakable sweetness,

He closes his eyes and swirls in a widening gyre,

Giving, receiving, clutching it to his heart-

-and almost drops the Torah when, behind him, Lucifer starts to laugh like an oilspill.

"Getting a little excited there, rabbi," the angel guffaws, "humping the book?"

There's no reason to, yet Jeshua blanches... then blushes a fiery pink.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #18: Hot. [Sequel to #11: Confident].

**Rating: NC-17**

.:.**  
**

Her wrists have never felt more twig-like, painted nails scrabbling at the wall. "Ow," she whimpers as Jeshua hitches her up his knee and onto the dresser, "ow, you fucker," but that last bit gets smeared round her chin in red paraffinous streaks.

Breathing in her scent, Jeshua twists her arms and mouths a line down her neck. She smells of something complicated like ambra and honey mixed with cadaver, and while it's vile, it also reassures him he need not be gentle;

not with her who bites off grueling curses in Enochian while she wetly slides down his cock.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #19: Cold. You can tell we're gearing up for a Grand Finale here, can't you.

**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

His nights are more restless, now that he sleeps alone. He never thought he'd miss him.

The constant jabs, the nagging. The pain that ensued whenever they got too close.

He bundles up and burrows, lies awake at night. The world outside... it's not doing so great, and he rarely ventures out these days. Not after the clinic.

When Lucifer returns, he doesn't say much, just lifts the blankets for him.

But Lucifer makes no attempt at spooning; no frozen feet pushed between Jeshua's calves, no icy nose poking his back, and in the dark, the angel's body grows cold.

.:.

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**Drabble:** #20: Author's Choice: Love II: "... you'll surprise yourself. Isn't that what love is about?" And so we've come to the last drabble. I'm sorry to let them go, but they need to take wing... and make room for fic. Thank you all who kept reading.

**Rating:** PG-13

.:.

"So this is where he crawled to," Azrael says, tapping ash on the carpet.

Jeshua has bound the liquefied flesh where Michael struck true. Now he holds on, uncomprehending, fingers curled in Lucifer's hair. _He's home,_ he wants to say, _he is safe_, but Death already yawns behind kid gloves. "Take a look outside, Lord. You've missed the floor show."

Grief-stricken, Jeshua keeps silent. Lucifer's locks are soft.

"At least preside at Mount Olivet." Michael steps forward. "So it has been written."

"Thus so it shall be done?" He raises his eyes. "Forgive me; I'm not interested."

_Another time, perhaps._

.:._  
_


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